


InPestation: Someone Get an Exterminator

by Stone_of_Moss



Category: Original Work, The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Found Family, He/Him and They/Them Pronouns for Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Multi, OCs from the mechs verse, Rating May Change, Tags to be added, The Pests Crew, background polychives, eldritch furby, the mechs aren’t here yet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:28:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27486559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stone_of_Moss/pseuds/Stone_of_Moss
Summary: The archival crew are just trying to do their jobs when an infection of some crew called the Pests decides it’s now their job to bother everybody at the Magnus Institute.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Sasha James/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist/Tim Stoker
Comments: 16
Kudos: 18





	1. Two Down Ten To Go

To say Jonathan Sims didn’t like the new guy that was hanging around the archives was little bit of an understatement. First, he claimed that he had a tape recorder instead of a voice box. Second, he said the tape recorder had Jons name on it! And third, he was constantly impersonating everybody. This was a place of research not a place to have fun! When Percy had first arrived, it hadn't been that bad. Yes, Jon wasn’t thrilled but Percy was one person.  
Then Percy offhandedly mentioned his “crew.” What was he, a pirate? And from the way he talked, there was a lot of them. Sasha seemed interested in meeting them, Tim was constantly asking questions about the crew, and Martin kept asking about tea. From what Jon had gathered there was about 12 of them. Or maybe 13, he wasn’t sure who this Warren Less Than Three was. (Who names their kid that?) 

Things were going fine, Percy did help around the archives, he talked about the Pests (why in the world would you name your selves that?), Jon continued to struggle with being the Head Archivist. Things were as normal as they could be. Everything was relatively fine. Nobody was hurt, people were working. Jon supposed it was okay. He didn’t like it but what he could he do? Percy didn’t listen to him no matter what he did. 

“Hey boss man, we have someone here for a live statement.” Jon looked up from his work, as Tim peered around the corner.

“Oh, alright send them in.” He cleared his desk slightly and got the recording app up on his computer. A young lady walked in and sat in the chair in front of his desk. She kept looking around, pulling her purse to her chest, and fiddling with her hair. “Good evening Ms...?”

“Oh, Emma Lee but just Emma please. Um do I just begin?” He held up his hand and turned to the computer. He pressed record four times before he gave up.

“Give me a second, my computer isn’t working.” With a sigh he rummaged through his desk drawer. He pulled out the tape recorder. “Alright I have to use this. Statement of Emma Lee regarding.?”

“The strange man that has been following me. Normally I wouldn’t care all that much but he just seems different. I think I figured out he seems so weird and out there. Some days he's my height, other days he’s the tallest person in the room. And he’s everywhere I go. If I’m out shopping, he’s there, if I’m picking up my kids he’s there. There’s just not something right about this dude. And then he walked up to me. Yesterday I was at the park and he just walked up to me! He introduced himself and he was talking but I was too scared to pay attention. He said his name was Achilles and then he went back to watching me from afar. I think he followed me here. I don’t know if he came in or not. I really don’t want to walk back outside. He’s just so unnerving!” Emma took a deep breath and if possible clung to her purse tighter. “I know it’s not a huge long statement but please. He isn’t normal.”

“Ma’am, it might be helpful if you went to the police.” Why did Achilles sound so familiar? “I’ll walk you out, come on.” Plus, it would give him time to think. Once he walked her up the stairs and out the building, he looked around. Emma practically ran as soon she was out the building. He could take a smoke. With a shake of his head Jon headed back inside. Rosie gave him a friendly wave and a smile. He gave her a halfhearted wave back.

“What was the statement about?” Jon jerked back lightly when he got back to the archives. Percy was leaning against the wall. Today he was using Sasha’s voice. He sighed as he walked by him.

“The woman was getting followed by someone who could change heights. Sh-”  
“Did she say their name?” Percy leaned forward, excitement in his eyes.

“Uh yes, Achilles.” At that Percy grinned and laughed. Jon squinted his eyes and looked at him.  
“Do you know who Achilles is?”

“I didn’t think anybody was else was near here! Of course, they’re messing with people. Did she say where she last saw him?” Jon shook his head. “Jon, where?”

“Outside the institute.” Almost instantly Percy was racing up the stairs.

“What's up with him?” Sasha was looking up from her desk.

“He knew someone outside.” Jon really, really wanted a smoke.

Percy ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Usually, the Pests stuck together. They’d all gone off for a bit of alone time when they’d gotten to earth. Then they all got separated. Achilles would be the first other pest in three years. He couldn’t help laugh slightly as he dashed for the doors. Of course, Achilles had statements about him. Once outside Percy looked left and right checking for any sight of Achilles. There! A flash of a familiar face. He chased after it.

“Achilles!” He called out in Leslie's voice. Percy watched a he stopped and turned around Percy waved. “Achilles down here!” They started to walk towards Percy. Excitement filled him as Achilles got closer.

“Oh, shit Percy? What are you doing here?” Achilles retracked his ankles so he was the same height as Percy. They opened their arms and immediately the two were in a hug. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“I work here, have you seen any of the others? You’re the first one I’ve seen in a while.” Percy gestured back towards the institute and they started to head that way.

“Nope, you’re the first. I’ve been having fun though. Did you know there's these weird people with like bugs in them and shit? I saw some people that were made of fire. I thought earth just had normal humans.” Percy shrugged as he opened the door. 

“Maybe they aren’t human? Have they discovered space travel yet?” Achilles shook his head as the two walked down the stairs to the archives. “Oh, the boss, Jon, isn’t going to be happy to see you. He doesn’t really like me and from what he’s heard of the others I think he’s decided to not like the crew.” He shoulder opened the door. 

“Hey, Percy where’d you go in such a hurry?” Tim was leaned against his desk, a statement in hand. His eyes went from Percy to Achilles. “Oh, who's this?”

“This is Achilles, they’re part of the crew I’m in.” Honestly the look on Tim’s face was hilarious. Obviously, he thought Percy hadn’t been telling the truth. “That’s one down, ten to go.” Achilles laughed at that.” Achilles this Tim, the lady in the corner is Sasha and the man with the tea is Martin. Jon is in his office. Do you want to say high?” That mischievous spark was in Percy eyes.

“Yeah, sure why not? Lead the way.” Tim sucked in a breath as the two headed to Jons office. With a wicked grin Percy knocked on Jons door. He pushes it open as he begins to speak.

“Jon, sorry to interrupt but figured you would want to meet this person.” Percy walked in and pulled Achilles with him. “You can get in contact with that lady and tell her Achilles won’t bother her anymore. Right, Achilles? Anyway, Jon this is Achilles, Achilles this is Jon.” Jon stared at Achilles with a small glint of terror in his eyes. Even he had thought it was all fake. “He’s going to stay with me for a while so expect to see them around.”

“I... alright. Just help out around the archives.” Achilles gave a mock salute.

“Of course.” The two walked out and Jon leaned against his desk.

There was two of them now, two of them! He had really thought that Percy was just making it up. If Achilles was real then that meant the rest of the crew was real and oh go. Jon shoved his face into his hands. Percy could vary well have a tape recorder in his throat. If he did how completely insensitive had Jon been for the past month that Percy had been here?


	2. Oh No, There's Even More of Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Pests invade the Archives

Sasha James was absolutely fascinated by the two newest “archival assistants.” Technically they worked in the archives but Sasha wasn’t sure if they were getting paid for it. Martin seemed to like the two, though she didn’t think he would offer to go to the pub after work unless they asked. Tim liked Achilles simply because of his mechanism. Tim was both incredibly confused and incredibly interested in it. He also liked joking around with Percy. The ice between Percy and Jon had barely thawed but it was obvious he was starting to believe Percy on somethings. Jon still pulled back from talking to Achilles especially when they were changing their height. 

She liked hearing Achilles and Percys stories. They had both experienced so much in life, it was just utterly fascinating! If they wanted to talk about it Sasha was all ears. Hearing about the rest of the crew was probably her favorite. Apparently Leslie, their captain, was known for starting cults. Not everyone was human or looked human. One of them, Ursa if she remembered correctly, was a bear person. This then proceeded to remind her of the fact that aliens exist and from what the two said, so did time travel. It was both exhilarating and terrifying. However, earth wouldn’t discover these things for years to come. 

It was actually Tim who found the newer statement about the next pest. A tall, buff person had been seen ripping apart manikins. When realizing they had been spotted by someone else they had thrown the manikin at the person and run. Instantly Achilles was there taking the statement away from Tim. Percy was with Martin getting tea otherwise he would’ve. 

“That’s probably Nebula. They’ve never liked manikins for some reason. Always said they were spooky.” They frowned at the paper as he read it again. “Honestly I’m shocked Nebula wasn’t with Percy, those two are attached at the hip usually. Where one goes the other is soon to follow. Percy will be excited for sure.” He set the statement on the desk, glancing towards the door. “The statement isn’t too old, only about a year old. We could still probably find xem in the area. He’s never liked moving all over the place really fast.” The door to the break room opened and out came Martin and Percy holding tea. 

“Whatcha got there?” Percy asked as he set down Tim and Achilles tea. Achilles handed him the statement. About two minutes later he looked up excitement in his eyes. “I’m shocked ze didn’t just kill the person. We’re going after it right? We need to find everyone.” Achilles nodded. 

“Yeah I figured.” His brows furrowed as they sipped their tea. “Do we need to tell Jon we’re leaving?” 

“If you want to go ahead and look for them I can tell Jon.” Sasha piped up. She had a highlighter in one hand and her computer mouse in the other. “Besides if you leave now he can’t stop you.” This caused Achilles to snort. 

“Like he could stop us anyways.” Percy elbowed his side and tugged them up the stairs. 

“Come on we gotta find zim.” The three archival staff watched them leave. Martin turned to Sasha once they were out of sight. 

“Are you really going to tell Jon? He’s going to get mad at us for just letting them go.” 

“Yeah, I will. Have you seen the way those two talk about their crew? The faster they find each other the better for us.” Martin sighed as Sasha headed to Jons office. Sasha gave him a salute as she walked to Jons’ office. With a deep breath she knocked on his door. Faintly she heard him say come in. Opening the door, she walked in. 

“Hey, Jon. Just to let you know, Achilles and Percy went out looking for someone else from their crew.” Jons face instantly screwed up. Honestly, Sasha felt kind of bad for him. He was already in over his head and now the Pests were slowly coming together in the archives. 

“Do we know who it is?” He sounded far from pleased. Sasha nodded as she sat down. 

“I think Achilles said their name was Nebula. A statement said they had been seen fighting manikins.” Jon blinked a couple of times before taking a deep breath, 

“Fighting manikins? Are we sure these people are safe to be around?” Jon rubbed his forehead. It hit Sasha then how tired he looked. When was the last time he left work at a decent time? 

“Honestly, probably not. But they seem to like us so I think we’re safe. And neither of them bothers the rest of the institute. Plus, Elias hasn’t said anything about them so I think we’re fine.” She cleared her throat and leaned forward. “Jon, how are you doing? I mean, this must be really stressful a bunch of people just forcing themselves into the archives.” Jon gave a confused look and leaned back in his chair. 

“It’s fine, I can handle it, I’ve been handling it.” He looked towards the door pointedly. “You don’t need to worry about it.” With a sigh Sasha left the room. 

It took a bit of looking around and asking “questions” (holding someone at gun point and making them talk) before Achilles and Percy got any real leads. Apparently about a month ago some older lady had complained about her neighbor acting weird and not looking right. Some brute had come through and the next day the neighbor was no longer there. The two went to see the old lady. Nebula had been coming over since the whole neighbor business but had started to bring two other people the last week. And from what the old lady said it was Eve and Ralphie. She invited the two to wait for them but they declined, saying they would stay outside waiting for the other three. 

“How long do you think it’ll take for them to get here?” Achilles asked as they fiddled with their fingers. Percy shrugged as he leaned forward. 

“Not too long. Nebula likes to be on time and it’s almost 1 o’clock I think. Plus, Ralphie is a literally clock. Eve might get distracted though.” 

It takes about fifteen minutes later the two hear three people heading their way. Around the corner came three people. Ralphie was the first, a bounce in their step. Eve was next and Nebula was last. Ralphie was talking about something and the other two were nodding along. Eve just happened to glance their way and gave a shout. Ralphie and Nebula spun their way instantly. The two started to sprint towards Achilles and Percy. Before either could react, they were pulled into hugs. Eve came up from behind and joined in as well. 

“Where have you two been?” Nebula pulled back from the hug, a large smile on their face. 

“I’ve been at the Magnus Institute and Achilles has been creeping people out.” Ralphie laughed and Achilles nodded. “What about you three? All of you have been off the grid.” 

“There’s these people who have powers or some shit. I’ve been hunting them down.” Eve said. Nebula nodded. 

“I found her fighting these people that were wearing other people's skin. I think they were manikins.” So, the statement about Nebula made more sense now. “I found Eve and Ralphie together stalking some sea captain.” 

“He sends people into this fog and they never come back. I don’t know how but I think I can do that now.” Ralphie says as they pull back from the hug. Achilles shoots them a slightly worried look. 

“Does it affect you?” Their head cocks to the side as they think. 

“Not really no, anyways! The Magnus Institute? I’ve heard that place is a hoax that just collects fake ghost stories. Didn’t think it was your kind of scene, Percy. Achilles makes sense.” Percy shrugged. 

“It’s interesting to say the least. The people there are nice, mostly. I think they’ll like you. Jon doesn’t really like me and Achilles so I don’t know how he’ll feel about you. I just think he hates we won’t listen to him. Come on, we should head back.” Nebula opened zir mouth to say something. “The lady already knows you won’t make it. Unless you want to go up.” He thought about it for a second and then shook his head. “Alright, follow the leader.” 

The group made it back to the institute in about an hour. Rosie gave everyone visitor badges and sent them on their way to the archives. And if Rosie was already texting Sonja about the new people Percy was dragging in nobody needed to know. The five of them made it to the archives with someone only getting distracted once. Percy opened the door to the archives and waved everybody in. Tim, Martin and Sasha were sat at their desks. All three looked up when the door opened. 

“We found more of us! The tall one is Nebula, the one behind them is Eve and the shorter one is Ralphie. The woman is Sasha, the slightly shorter guy is Tim and the taller guy is Martin.” Everybody went around greeting each other when Jon walked out of his office. He stopped as soon as he saw the three new people. 

“Uh oh, Jon isn’t going to be happy.” Tim whispered under his breath, Sasha elbowed him. 

“Who are they?” Jon asked, his voice utterly displeased. He looked between each new person with a frown. Percy introduced everyone again and Jon looked him in the eyes. “You said you were only bringing Nebula back and you brought two other people. 

“To be fair to Percy he wasn’t expecting us three to be together. He said the statement only mentioned me. We just happened to find each other before Achilles and Percy found me. Why, is it going to be a problem?” A thick silence entered the archives. Martin kept looking between Nebula and Jon. Finally, Jon shook his head. 

“No, we were only expecting you. He only mentioned you.” Jon went back into his office. 

“Is he always like that?” Eve asked. All three archival assistants nodded and so did Achilles and Percy. 

“That went better than expected!” Sasha said as she clapped her hands together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I honestly didn't think i was going to put out another chapter so soon. Anyways yet again sorry if there's mistakes  
> Pronouns:  
> Percy-he/him  
> Nebula- any just not she/her  
> Eve-she/they  
> Achilles-he/they  
> Ralphie-they/them


	3. Spider Lady Spider Lady Does Whatever a Spider Lady Does

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small interlude to see what Leslie, our wonderful captain, is up to.

Running an institute isn’t that hard, shockingly enough. Sure, you have to pay everyone (overrated), make sure nobody dies (boring), and keep your employees moderately happy (gross). But what job doesn’t come with parts you hate? 

Watching Elias Bouchard struggle against the rope tying him up was worth all of the trouble. Leslie will admit to being a cult leader. Leslie knows how to run a cult and this isn’t how you do it. Yeah, she’s not a great person but come on, even a cult leader has standards. Not telling someone they’re in a cult is just bad practice. 

It was nice to have Rosie around, if Leslie didn’t want to something, Rosie did it. She also made appointments, kept away people, updated Leslie's calendar, just generally being helpful. It was nice to have some actually help. (Totally not a jab at the Pests, Leslie has no idea what you’re talking about.) It’s a bit of shock, however, when Rosie comes baring news. 

“You remember how you asked to keep a look out for certain people?” Leslie looks up from her work and nods. “Well five of the twelve are here now. They’re all in the archives.” 

“Which ones?” Rosie pulls out her phone and reads a list. 

“I think its Percy, Achilles, Ralphie, Nebula, and Eve. I could be wrong though.” Leslie leans back in her chair. 

“Have they done anything? Is anything broken or destroyed? Anybody dead?” Rosie raises her eyebrow at the last one but shakes her head. 

“The only think ‘broken’ is Jons ego. Apparently, the tall one-” 

“Nebula.” 

“Nebula almost got into a fight with him.” In the corner Elias made muffled, panicked noises. “Er, they didn’t but it was close thing. Or so says Tim.” 

“How long have they been here?” Rosie looked away at that. 

“Percy got here about a month ago, almost two months now. Achilles got here the beginning of the week and the rest got here earlier today.” Leslie laughs at that. She turned to Elias at that and grinned. 

“You can leave now Rosie, thanks for the update.” Rosie nodded and sped out the door. “Hear that Elias? Everybody is coming here. What happened to being able to stop me? To stop us? When is your magic act going to begin? What's wrong, spider got your tongue?” They snickered as they leaned back in their chair. It was fun, watching Elias squirm. He couldn’t do anything. Leslie knew that and he knew that. 

With a sigh she went back to work. Maybe she would go down to the archives sometime. With the five of them down there and her up here that was half the crew (minus Warren.) Speaking of Warren, had anyone checked up on creak? Maybe she would go do that. No, she was going to go do that. They stood up from their chair and gave Elias a shit eating grin. 

“Bye Bitchard.”


	4. Bonding Time and Gender Crisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometime you just have to have a gender crisis when you realize nobody in the archives are cis.

Some of the few good things about the Pests slowly taking over the archives was that Jon left work at reasonable times now, the fridge was usually full, and there was always food. Plus, the more Pests that came in, the more likely it was for the assistants to be left alone. From what Tim had seen so far, they fought often but seemed to genuinely love each other. Achilles was good at getting people to leave the archives faster, Nebula was more than happy to feed everyone, Ralphie was usually by one of the others sides, Eve was quiet, and Percy seemed to do anything he wanted. Though he also seemed to take on the role of wrangling the Pests if it was important. 

In the week since the Pests had gotten here the archives had been loud. Things were constantly happening, someone was fighting someone else, constant talking, and things getting lost. Today, however, everyone was quiet. Of the five Pests in the archives Tim had only seen two of them. Percy and Nebula had already been in the archives when he came in. Jon had been slightly red in the face and storming away from them. After that he hadn’t seen them again. 

Sasha and Martin had come in a few minutes later and had also seemed shocked that no other Pests were there. It was nice though not having to worry about the others. Things had been good all morning and the three of them got more work down before lunch then they had all week. 

Of course, the Pests being quiet is never a good thing. The three assistants headed to the breakroom for lunch. Walking in the three were assaulted by a horrible smell. There was smoke coming from the microwave and a very determined looking Eve was waving away the smoke. Ralphie was losing it on the floor, Nebula was frantically throwing away food, Achilles and Percy were sat down laughing. 

“I told y’all to leave it alone!” Nebula said with a scowl. 

“I didn’t do anything, I’m helping you.” Eve snapped back, she gestured to the smoky microwave. 

“What....what is happening here?” Martin asked. Instantly all eyes were on the three of them. Martin shuffled back slightly and Tim fidgeted. 

“I was trying to make food but somebody messed with the food and now it's all burnt.” Nebula huffed and threw his hand towel at Ralphie. “Sorry, did we disturb you? We were trying to be quiet or some of us were.” 

“No, we didn’t even know you were here.” Tim piped up. Out of the corner of his eyes Tim saw Percy elbow Achilles with a pointed look. 

“Told you they wouldn’t be able to hear us.” Wheezed Ralphie from the floor. Nebula groaned as they threw the last of the food away. 

“There’s no food today, sorry. You’ll have to go out and buy food.” They turned towards the Pests with a scowl. “And so will you. No food for the archives means no food for the Pests.” A few groans came from the Pests. “Hey! I tried to make food but no somebody how to burn it.” 

“Why don’t we all go together?” Tim asked. He was shocked he would ask. Not that he didn’t like the Pests but he’d rather spend as less time as possible with them. Martin gave him a look as the Pests agreed. 

Somehow, Sasha convinced Jon to come with them. (Supposedly with threats of sending the Pests after him.) The nine of them went to a fast-food place not too far from the Institute. (Jon protested the whole time.) At first it was slightly awkward. The conversations were stilted and ended very quickly. Finally, Sasha asked how they got here. Instantly they all perked up. 

“Our ship, Warren<3! Creak is great!” The others nodded. 

“Warren is awesome, I feel bad we just left creak behind.” 

“Has anyone checked on creak?” Everybody shook their heads no. 

“Do we even know where creak is?” A few grumbles. “I’ll take that as a no.” 

“Creak?” Jon asks, a look of confusion on his face. Instantly the Pests went on the defense. 

“Yeah creak, Warren uses creak/creakself pronouns. We asked and that’s what Warren answered with.” Nebula said, a look in zir eyes. Jon shook his head slightly. 

“But isn’t Warren a ship?” 

“A space ship, creak is sentient. Warren can communicate with us.” It looked like Nebula had just blown Jons mind. 

“How is the ship sentient?” 

“Thats a long and complicated story I doubt you’ll believe. I’m surprised you even believe that we have a space ship, much less that creak is sentient.” 

“I didn’t say I believed you had a space ship!” Jon snapped at them. He grinned (how were his teeth so sharp) right back at Jon. 

“Could Leslie still be with Warren?” They were directing the question to the Pests. 

“She might be, nobody’s heard from them for a while.” Ralphie said. They sounded somewhat sad. 

“And you asked your ship-” 

“Ah no, Warren is creaks own ship. We simply live in creak.” Percy and Achilles were snickering now. Jon looked so insulted. 

“Fine. Fine! How did you ask Warren for creaks pronouns?” Eve gave him the most dead eyed look. 

“We asked and Warren creaked.” 

“Thats no- okay! Okay! I’m going to the toilet.” Jon pushed himself up and left. The Pests all started to laugh when he went into the bathroom. A few minutes later he came back looking slightly less tense. 

“Speaking of pronouns, what is everyone's pronouns? I’ve just been assuming.” Sasha asked once Jon sat down. 

“I use he/him, Eve uses she/they, Achilles uses he/they, Nebula uses any expect she/her, and Ralphie uses they/them.” Percy said. He gestured at the archive crew. “What about you lot?” 

“I use he/she/they but mostly he.” Tim answered. 

“I go by she/eir/moth.” Sasha said. She was fiddling with her necklace as she glanced at Jon. He cleared his throat and looked at his hands. 

“Just he/him for me.” Jon said quietly. 

“He/him for me.” Martin answered last. The Pests nodded. 

They finished lunch and all headed back to the Institute. Once there the Pests went back to the break room. The three archive assistants sat down and Jon stood not too far from them fidgeting with his hands. He cleared his throat to get their attention. 

“If there’s pronouns you prefer over the other or names you’d rather use, you can tell me. I...I know I don’t seem that accepting but I’ll use them.” If he wasn’t being so sincere Tim would’ve laughed. Jon looked so nervous and awkward standing there. 

“Boss, we’ll tell you, ya?” Tim asked as he looked Martin and Sasha. They both nodded. “Don’t worry about, if anything changes will tell you. And you to boss, if anything changes you have to tell us.” Jon nodded as he went back into his office. 

In his office Jon put his head in hands. He’d been assuming everyone's pronouns. Which was hypocritical of him, seeing as he didn’t even want to use male pronouns. No, now was not the time to have a gender crisis! Maybe he should tell them, he thought, after all barely anybody was cis here. He shook his head and went back to work. Gender Crisis time was for at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can pry my archive crew pronouns headcanons from my cold dead hands. Its my fic and I can put whatver hc's I want.


	5. Bonding? In this economy? It’s more likely than you think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Pests go after Eshen.

The Pests had been a whirlwind all morning. Apparently, one of them had read a statement that sounded like Eshen, one of their crew mates, and were trying to find him now. From the sounds of it, they had originally been one of Gertrude Robinsons assistants but after her death had left the archives. 

Ever since then they had been popping up in statements. First it was just people seeing an incredibly large crab and then it was people being ‘attacked’ (asked for their stories) by said crab. It was Ralphie who had found the statement from someone being ‘attacked’ by Eshen. 

At all the commotion Jon had come out of his office to see what was happening. Seeing the Pests running around, he took a step back inside his office. Before he could completely close the door, Tim slipped in. He sent Jon a smirked and sat in the chair in front of his desk. 

“They’re going after another one of them.” Jons face screwed up, Tim gave a smypathic smile. 

“Ashen? Eshen? Something like that. Apparently, he's like a crab.” At that Jon sat up in his chair.

“So, they all really look like that?” Tim narrowed his at Jon, who flung out his hands. “Ralphie is a frog! I just thought they were wearing a costume or making some kind of statement! And Nebula skin looks like an actually nebula! They can’t seriously look like that right?” There was an edge of panic in his voice.

“Jon, they aren’t human. I don’t think any of them are human. And if someone was human, they’re from the future.” A look passed over his face. “How are you handling this, boss man?” Jon looked away and swallowed. “So not well huh? You do realize you don’t have to fight them all the time, right? None of them have wanted to hurt us and they all seem to like us.”

“How are you three so comfortable around them?”

“To tell you the truth boss, we’re all kind of scared that if say something wrong shit will hit the fan.” Tim leaned back in his seat. “You just have to get used to them. They’re weird and loud but they don’t really bother us unless it's something about statements or one of them is trying to prove something. Come out in the main area sometime and you’ll see. Plus, we get great food.” Jon thought for a second before slowly nodding his head. Personally, Tim thought this was a victory.  
-  
Finding Eshen isn’t as hard as the others thought it would be. A few well placed questions and they find where he’s been staying for the past month. It’s a slightly run down apartment building where apparently almost all the other tenets had left.

The Pests branch out and went knocking on the doors. About an hour later they found Eshen. He was sitting in the center of the room with statements surrounding him. Once they all barged in he looked up with a smile.

“You didn’t have to break my door to get in. A simple knock would’ve done it.” Eshen said.

After some time getting caught up again, the group headed back to the Institute. On the tube back they all got weird looks. The way each other looked was normal to them but to most people it looked like Halloween had come earlier. Eshen who had red and white strips all over him, Nebula who looked like a nebula come to life and Ralphie who was practically a frog. It probably doesn’t help that they were arguing loudly about Better Odin.

Once back at the Institute, the Pests converged in the main area. Surprisingly, Jon was in the main area with the others. After introductions (and Jon looking like he was going to break down) they all went to the break room. 

“Alright, down to business! Have you seen any of the others?” Ralphie asked.

“No, the last time I heard anything about the crew was someone saw Better Odin and then another person saw the space worms.” This caused Percy, Ralphie and Nebula to perk up. “There wasn’t much information about where they were.”

“Is Kori with Better Odin?” Everybody shrugged. “That’s very concerning.” A round of nods.

That night at Percys apartment (which was getting incredibly small with each new tenant moving in) they talked about the creatures of the crew. Percy, Nebula, and Ralphie wanted to find their space worms and the others wanted to find Better Odin and hopefully Kori would be with it. After talking for a few hours it was agreed upon that tomorrow would be a relax day and they would do what they wanted.


	6. Two Archivist, What Will Happen?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Pests have a night out, some crew mates are found, and Jon gets some much needed comfort.

Achilles called in saying none of the Pests were coming in. Of course, they were immediately allowed off. (Technically, none of them actually worked there.) In the morning there was a shopping trip. To say it simply, it was a disaster. After getting kicked out of three different stores they finally got everything they needed. The last super market they got kicked out of was over a very heated debate about sour cream. 

With everybody loaded up with bags, they headed back to the small apartment. It took a while to get back and put everything away but it got done eventually. It was decided that everybody would just relax, do what they wanted, and just not cause mayhem for one day. (If that was possible.) 

After a few hours of everybody doing what they wanted to do, they all converged as a group into the living room. Some talking (and arguing) later it was decided. The Pests would go out “on the town.” Despite being London and the surrounding area, nobody had explored. As the group moved from place to place, they also kept an eye out for any other Pests or petss. Anywhere they went they got odd looks and half time it was for things they couldn’t help. 

The night ended in some dark and dinky bar that was packed. It was somewhat hard to fit their group into one booth but they managed. Some drinks were had, food passed around, and if someone got stabbed who was going to tell? An hour before they were going to leave some dude with a red face and out of breath came running in. His friends ran up to him to help him but they couldn’t quite understand what he was saying. The bar quieted slightly and over the low noises the Pests could the man talking about a furby. Instantly, the group went over to the man. 

“A furby? What did it look like?” Eve asked. The man gave them all once overs and pulled a face. 

“Why do you want to know?” The man practically sneered. 

“Our friend messes with furbies sometimes and makes it so that they can move. Our friend lost a furby not too long ago. We want to know if it’s the right one.” Percy supplied, his voice an amalgamation of the crews. The man shot him a look. 

“I don’t know!” He snapped throwing his hands up. “It was dark and it just came at me! Somebody was running after it though.” From the side that the man couldn’t see a knife was being drawn up. Quickly the knife was stopped and there hushed whispering between Nebula and Percy. 

“Which way?” Ralphie asked, glancing over at the two whispering. The man pointed to his left and the group left quickly. 

Achilles ran faster than the others, hopefully he would get there quicker than the others. A few minutes later the group saw them crouched in an alley way. Not too far in front of Achilles stood Kori with Better Odin behind K. Betto hissed as the group came around front. Kori smiled at everyone. 

“Kori! We’ve been looking for you!” Eshen said excitedly. Kori grinned as Kori walked towards the group. 

“I’ve been tracking Betto around for a bit. Where’ve you all been?” Kori bundled up Betto and the group started to leave. As they walked back to the apartment they explained where they had been working and caught Kori up on what’d been happening. Once everyone was back at the apartment the group started to ask Kori questions. 

“Before I forget, the space worms? When I was chasing Betto I say them. They were heading to a...a zoo? I didn’t look at the name but I remember the general direction they went.” Ralphie, Percy, and Nebula sat up at that. “I can point you in the right way.” The Worm Parents nodded. 

The next day Kori and Betto came with the others to the archives. Walking down to the archives many people gave Betto grossed out looks. Rosie simply smiled and ushered them along. 

“Found another?” She asked politely as she made Kori and Betto employee tags. The group nodded, she smiled, and sent them on their way. 

To put it simply, things didn’t go so easily in the archives. Martin had reached out to touch Betto and almost lost his fingers, Jon had yelled when he saw it, Tim had fallen back onto her desk and knocked a bunch of stuff off, and Sasha had dropped the books moth had been holding. 

“What...is that?” Jon had almost shouted pointing at Betto. Kori had grinned at him. 

“My child! Better Odin, it’ll leave you alone if you leave it alone.” Eshen grumbled when Kori said that. 

“No, seriously. Leave Betto alone. If it needs moved or something get Kori or one of us. You won’t come back if it kills you.” Nebula said. “It’ll go into the vents down here, and be fine. Just leave it alone. If we left it at the apartment a lot of people could’ve died.” 

The archive crew had stared at the vents for the rest of the day and whenever a growl came from the vents, they all jumped. Kori had taken one look around the archives and tsked. The archives were a mess and no archivist could leave them in such a way. 

“So, who’s the Head Archivist?” Kori asked. 

“Jon, his office is over there.” Eve gestured at the door. “He doesn’t like being bothered.” Kori had nodded and headed over anyways. 

After about ten minutes Jon had come out of the office, his face red and stormed off. Kori followed behind a slightly confused look on Kori’s face. 

“All’s I did was offer him some advice.” The assistants had flinched slightly when Kori said that. 

“He doesn’t like feeling out of control. He didn’t mean it if he was rude. He’s just not used to all of you yet.” Sasha said. Kori nodded and went back to the Pests. 

“Should someone go after him?” Martin asked. Sasha nodded and stood up. 

“I will.” Grabbing a coat, she headed up the stairs and outside the institute. Looking left and right she saw Jon disappear down the alley right beside the building. Eir followed him and stopped at the opening of the alley. “Hey, Jon.” He looked up from where he was fiddling with a lighter. “Are you okay?” He sighed and dropped his head into his hands. 

“Sasha, how are you all doing this?” He looked back up at her and his eyes were filled with tears. “I just....there’s so many of them already and there’s still more! The new brought in a furby! A furby that can kill us.” Sasha reached out and patted his shoulder. He slumped towards her. “The furby is the vents now, it could kill anyone here and we wouldn’t know.” 

“I’m sure none of them would let that happen. They all seem to like it here and none of them seem the type to jeopardize something like that. I can talk to them if you want? Tell Kori to put Better Odin somewhere else.” Jon laughed wetly at that. 

“They’re immortal, we’re probably no more than a pit stop to them. In a few years they’ll have completely forgotten us.” Sasha sighed and started to pet through Jon’s hair. 

“You should hear the stories they tell us. They find people who think they have no story and tell it. They have wonderful songs and once you get past the rudeness and snarkiness they’re all quite funny. None of them want to ruin this. And Kori was genuinely trying to help you. Apparently, Kori is the archivist on their-” 

“Warren is creaks own ship.” Jon interrupted tiredly. Sasha laughed. 

“Kori is the archivist on Warren. K is used to messy and disheveled archives because of the crew.” Sasha looked down at Jon and saw he just looked tired. “C’mon, let's go get lunch.” Jon opened his mouth but Sasha kept talking. “You need a break, let's go.” Sasha started to pull him out of the alley and they went for lunch.


	7. Gender Crisis Averted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New tag time!!

Jon and Sasha sat in a fast-food place not too far from the institute. Jon picked at his food as Sasha watched him every now and then. A few times he opened his mouth to tell her something then would close it again with a snap. It was fine though, Sasha could be patient. About twenty minutes passed before Jon cleared his throat and she looked up. 

“How did you know you liked other pronouns?” Out of all the things Jon could’ve said then, that one wasn’t what she was expecting. Eir shrugged and leaned back. 

“I knew when I was younger, maybe a teenager? There wasn’t stuff about trans people back then but I knew I wasn’t fully connected to being a girl. It wasn’t until I went to college and met some trans people that I fully realized. It took a while for me to find the pronouns that fit.” Eir paused and looked at him. His brow was furrowed and nose scrunched slightly. “Do you want to use different pronouns, Jon?” He jumped slightly. 

“I-mm Maybe? I’m not sure yet. I like he/him but the other pronouns seem good too.” Sasha leaned forward. 

“If you want to tell me you can, I can give you a test run. Plus, you don’t have to use just one set. You can both sets” Jon fidgeted some, sighed, and then nodded. 

“Of all the things the Pests have done, I didn't think a gender crisis would be one of those things.” He laughed dryly. Rubbing a hand down his face he rested his elbows on the table. “Alright, can...can you use they/them for me?” He said it quietly. If Sasha hadn’t been listening intently, she wouldn’t have heard. 

“Jon Sims is my boss. They’re great at their job. Sometimes they hang out with the rest of us and they’re really fun. Their hair is brown and curly, their eyes are also brown.” His face was completely scrunched up and he shook his head. 

“Can you use he and they?” Sasha nodded. 

“Jon Sims is my boss. He’s great at their job. Sometimes they hang out with the rest of us and he’s really fun. His hair is brown and curly, their eyes are also brown.” He concentrated for a minute before slowly nodding. 

“Yeah...yeah I like that. Thank you, Sasha.” Sasha waved eir hand. 

“Anytime, Jon. Seriously, if you need to try a different name or different pronouns, I won’t judge you. You can always come to me with stuff like this.” He smiled at her and oh god when had Jon started to look so cute? She shoved the thought aside as they finished eating. Before they left Jon cleared throat one last time. 

“How do you deal with them? The Pests?” The look on their face showed how much he didn’t want to ask. 

“Honestly? I become their friends. They all seem to like being friends. As long as you don’t push any boundaries, they all seem to like us. Plus, I think you being their friend will be easy. They all want to be your friend but don’t want to push you.” Jon blinked a few times. 

“Wait really? Why would they want to be my friend?” 

“I guess the reason is the same as why they become our friends” 

After that they headed back to the institute. When they passed through the main lobby, they both caught the tail end sight of what appeared to be a walking spider. Jon paled and practically ran to the archives with Sasha following close behind. Once they reached the bottom of the stairs Jon seemed to relax. 

“Jon!” They looked up and Nebula was walking towards him. A small bag was held in his hands. “Here’s some cupcakes. I made you some to Sasha. I hope you don’t mind but Martin and Tim told me what y’alls favorite flavors were. I made everybody some.” They beamed. After handing the cupcakes over Nebula rushed back off to the others. Jon stared at the cupcakes in his hand. He looked at Sasha and they both smirked. 

“Do you think the cupcakes are an apology?” Sasha asked. Jon laughed and nodded. When he went to walk away moth quickly grabbed his hand. “Are you going to tell the other or do you want to get used to it first?” 

“I’ll tell them when it comes up.” She nodded and then walked back into the main area.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it was somewhat shorter and it was mostly about Jon and Sasha. I just thought they deserved their own chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> Blame this on the Pests discord, they gave me the idea. I’m not sure how long this will be, I’ve never actually finished a multi chapter fanfic before so please hang on while I figure everything out. 
> 
> I have a rough timeline of how everything will go. The mechs aren’t here yet but they will be later! Also if you see any mistakes please lmk and I’ll fix them!


End file.
